I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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