yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
