Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
