I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
