I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Damn victory sex feels great
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
