Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
