Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
