Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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