It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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