Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
