Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
