Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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