remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
