Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
