So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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