I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
