She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Why is there bacon in the couch?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
