I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
