All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
