I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i permit you to call me
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize