I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
