Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
