My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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