i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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