So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize