butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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