Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
