there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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