True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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