I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
thus making me awesome and them whores
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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