I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
