My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
