a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
