Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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