i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
