just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
