At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize