I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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