I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
