What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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