And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Never underestimate the power of titties
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