I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize