I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
