plz talk dirty to me
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
