i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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