I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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