Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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