I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
