Porn is love you can see.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
