So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
