my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
