Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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