she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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