escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
