Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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