From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize