i don't plan on having that self control this summer
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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