I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
