nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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