Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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