its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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