i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
