So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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