I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
