The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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