Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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