Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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