just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
