I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
