He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
