The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
