When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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