oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Randomize